Matilda returning her books at the end of the semester #roommates #englishmajor #books @jessbachinski

"And following that train of thought led him back to Earth, back to the quiet hours in the center of the clear water ringed by a bowl of tree-covered hills. That is the Earth, he thought…a forest with a shining lake, a house hidden at the crest of a hill, high in the trees a grassy slope leading upward from the water, fish leaping and birds strafing to take the bugs that lived at the border between water and sky. Earth was the constant noise of crickets and wind and sky. Earth was the constant voice of one girl, who spoke to him our of his far-off childhood."

Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card 

This is really out of context, and do not expect this book to be about nature and “childhood” but I thought this was just beautiful writing that needed a bit more publicity than…ya know, just a novel that was lated adapted into a movie and is loved by all. 

New book. Not sure how I feel about it yet, but I’m up to chapter 3 and I’m not a huge fan #books #englishmajor #feminism

My favorite mug and piles of books, AKA rainy Sunday status #studying #mylife #questionablemorals #books #collegekidshit #collegekidproblems (Taken with Instagram)

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James Review: It’s All About The Sex

               First, some context: it is exceptionally impressive this book is even being talked about, considering it started as fan fiction based on Twilight only to be published by a small Australian publishing company last year. But, alas, everyone has been talking about it so I couldn’t just ignore it. As most know, the novel (at first) focuses on Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey’s BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) sexual relationship but it evolves to…sadly not much more than that.

                The first novel focuses on their immediate attraction, how far from similar these two are, and how odd and wrong Christian’s BDSM (although this term seems inaccurate, all things considered) preference is. The second book, they finally get together officially and are carefully navigating their relationship when an ex-submissive of Christians comes back threatening them both. The third book, they marry and are living happily ever after until Jack Hyde (Anastasia’s former employer, who sexually harassed her and attempted to sexually assault her) threatens the entire Grey family – oh, and Anastasia gets pregnant. There are some notable things about this book that I did enjoy: the sex scenes, Anastasia and Christian’s arguing, The Grey Family, and Anastasia’s inner goddess and subconscious.

                 I think the sex scenes are done as well as anyone could expect (really, how many ways can you explain an orgasm without resorting to hyperbole and cheap onomatopoeia); I enjoyed the description of her “climbing” and then “spiraling down” once she climaxes and comes. One thing however, that I did not like about these scenes were how typical they were and how unaware of her own body Anastasia was. Almost every time these two characters have sex it is Christian who initiates and has total control over the sex (he even tells her when to come, on more than one occasion.) Also, Anastasia is very cliché when it comes to sex: she is a virgin, who has never masturbated, and who has never even really heard of BDSM – no surprise this trilogy sprung from Twilight fan fiction.

                Anastasia and Christian’s arguing I enjoyed because it made them interesting, the only time these characters were less cliché and more human was when they were arguing. I also liked that Anastasia argued with Christian at all, considering how submissive (no pun intended) she usually is with him. And Christian’s reaction to her arguing, although unrealistic and again cliché, were interesting to see evolve. How can arguing be so cliché and yet interesting you ask, well imaginary reader I will tell you: his “life style” involves him being dominant and in control at all available times and yet he puts up with Anastasia’s taking his control by arguing with him (to a point.) It is cliché though because his “life style” is seen as wrong, unnatural and something that he can be “cured” of and this is the biggest thing they argue about (the second being how controlling he is.)

                The Grey family I will discuss quickly: they’re great. They are a dynamic loving family, with small and large problems and quirks. They are popular and wealthy, however not boastful. Basically, I would move in with the Grey’s and join their wonderful growing family any day.

                Lastly, Anastasia’s inner goddess and subconscious are characters within their own. Her inner goddess is her libido, solely sexual and wet. Her subconscious on the other hand is judgmental and prudish, usually depicted as peering judgmentally over a classic British novel Anastasia is known for loving. But to be honest, they are both my favorite character: they are funny, creative, and never so boringly cliché as Anastasia and Christian.

                But now onto the tough stuff, the things I did not like at all about this novel. Firstly, the writing in general is simple and got lazier as the trilogy went on. It resorted to cheap plot twists (crazed ex-submissive, crazed ex-boss, attempted murder, stalking, mysterious accidents, accidental pregnancy, car accidents and comas) once the initial excitement of their sex was over; and the adjectives and grammar were elementary and repetitive. Also, Christian is far from the dreamy Adonis he is portrayed as: he is insanely controlling (to the point of being abusive, but that is an entirely different story/entry), snooping, emotionally crippled, boastful, self-hating, and anything but delicate with Anastasia (considering Anastasia’s only budding sexuality.) Also, and most importantly, it is so incredibly cliché it makes me weep. Of course she is a virgin who never masturbates and who has never really been attracted to anyone! Of course he was incredibly abused as a child and now takes joy in abusing others! Of course the person who introduced him to BDSM life style was a pedophiliac Mrs. Robinson type next door to him, and of course she was a family friend who eventually gets ousted at an engagement party for Anastasia and Christian because she is in love with him! And of course, Anastasia’s mother bounces from husband to husband; and of course Anastasia doesn’t know her real father because he died when she was young. Of course Christian saves Anastasia from her drunk “friend” trying to assault her, where Christian himself doesn’t touch her at all but rather let her sleep off her drunkenness in his hotel. Of course one of Christian’s ex-submissives falls in love with him and has a psychotic break, trying to kill Anastasia for changing Christian. Of course Anastasia’s boss tries to assault her and blackmail her, but she magically knows defense skills and wounds him – oh and no worries either way, because Christian and his security team were on their way to save her. And of course Christian discovers, through his growing feelings and “vanilla” sex with Anastasia that he doesn’t need nor want the rough BDSM, essentially being “cured” by Ana (our perfect virginal princess.) And of course she gets pregnant, and after his initial outrage he loves the idea of being a father and becomes a dream example of fatherhood.

                All in all, I would only recommend this novel for the sex scenes or for those who enjoy cheap fiction and are not interested in literary merit. 

(some links I used: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey

                         http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/10/business/media/an-erotic-novel-50-shades-of-grey-goes-viral-with-women.html?pagewanted=all

                         http://www.theunexpectedtnt.com/2012/03/review-50-shades-of-grey.html

                          http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/03/books/fifty-shades-of-grey-s-and-m-cinderella.html

So, I’ve decided to start doing this thing where when I finish reading a book (or in the first case, a trilogy of books) I’m going to review them here. Possibly rate them (I need to think of a cute/quirky system besides stars, so passe.) 

I’m super excited! Since I’m an English major in school and want to get into publishing, and hopefully become a critic this going to be fun for me =)

I dont care if anyone else is excited, me and this hottie are excited as hell

The moment your dad asks if you’ve heard of “this new book on top sellers list….”

He means Fifty Shades of Grey. He bought it and “tried to read it” but couldn’t. 

Oh father, how little you know. 

Magic Shell chocolate sauce it probs the best thing to ever happen to me. It is delicious. Eating frozen chunks of chocolate sauce and reading Fifty Shades of Grey ( by E L James) is a very decadent night 

SDJFNDKSJGN I NEED.