Occasionally Without Pants: ceasesilence: diffusebombs: losertakesall: vanboobsenstein: greengrey:...

ceasesilence:

diffusebombs:

losertakesall:

vanboobsenstein:

greengrey:

vanboobsenstein:

speakgirl:

weirdsociology:

dazaibrosamu:

fluxcapacitoppar:

autumn-and-eve:

rosemannequin:

homorobotica:

fraudstory:

richwhitelesbian:

i hope rick santorum is walking down the street and someone is walking the opposite way towards him and they both try to go around eachother the same direction and end up both looking like complete tools to all the cars driving by

I hope Rick Santorum orders a pizza and expects the pizza to be the best he’s ever eaten, but it is a very mediocre pizza and it ruins his day.

I hope Rick Santorum gets a burrito and it’s in terrible layers from top to bottom.

I hope someone hacks into Rick Santorum’s Facebook account and posts “I like men”.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to go into the subway expecting to refill his MetroCard with a five dollar bill but all of the machines say “No Bills Accepted” and he has to walk to where he wants to go

i hope rick santorum goes to rip out a piece of paper from a notebook and it rips right in half

i hope santorum asks someone to pick him up a bottle of irish whiskey at the liquor store, but instead they get him canadian whiskey by mistake. (this happened to me once and i never recovered.)

I hope Rick Santorum logs into Netflix and finds his queue out of order.

I hope Rick Santorum orders a latte with no foam and then picks up someone else’s cappuccino by mistake but the line is really long and the barista can’t hear him when he says his drink is wrong so he’s forced to start his day off foamily.

I hope Rick Santorum is driving around and around looking for a parking spot, and he finally sees one but it’s on the other side of the street and by the time he’s turned his car around someone else has parked there. 

I hope Rick Santorum goes to the food store looking for one specific item. The store is out of the item he desired, so he drives the the other store. They are also out of the item he wanted. 

…and this item is Nutella and nobody in the world will sell him Nutella and he is destined to live out the rest of his days in a Nutella-free existence. 

I hope Rick Santorum’s blush explodes in his purse, and for a month everything he pulls out of his purse comes out pink and covered in shimmer.

I hope Rick Santorum stubs the same toe twice in one day.

I hope someone steals Rick Santorum’s fancy gelato out of the office refrigerator. The one he’s been looking forward to all week.

I hope Rick Santorum goes to Best Buy to purchase an HDMI cord. 

I hope when Rick Santorum goes to the gym, all the machines are either taken or being repaired. 

I hope Rick Santorum has unprotected sex and then his period is late and he gets no sleep for a week while he tries to work up the courage to take a pregnancy test because he lives in a state where abortion is illegal.

I hope Rick Santorum gets constipated and has to go buy some serious stool softener, and the clerk is an awkward old man who feels the need to comment on his purchases and make poop jokes the whole time.